"Sex is God's Idea"

A month ago, my husband and I conducted a series of premarital counseling sessions with young married couples. The original plan was only to pass the video teachings on to the couples who would take over our pre-marriage and marriage counseling ministry when we leave for Canada. However, since we knew several more young couples in church who have not gone through these particular sessions, we decided to just invite them in.

The last topic of this series was entitled "Sex is God's Idea".  Needless to say, the wives giggled, while the husbands guffawed, and the atmosphere was--- hot.  Awkward it may be, but the title is definitely a powerful truth that could be found resisted by our popular mindsets on sex.  The church, in general, especially has done a good job of painting a bad picture of sex when the truth is, God did create it and because He did, it is GOOD!

Sin has tainted the beauty of sex.  Because most of us got exposed to sexual matters at our young age in the context of sin such as pornography and extramarital sex scenes in movies, our foundational understanding of it has then been one covered with lots of shame and guilt. Other women like myself may have also been sexually molested or abused so that the picture of a man touching us intimately is immediately connected to the idea of being used and abused. Imagine what happens then when such former victims become porn addicts, which is usually the corresponding result!  Such experiences cloud the whole sex idea as a shameful, sinful, and dirty kind of pleasure.

This is why God desires for us to walk in purity while we are yet singles.  He doesn't want us to enter marriage and find ourselves holding back in shame and guilt when it is time to make love with our God-given spouses.  Sexual intimacy in marriage is the time set by God for the man and the woman to be naked without shame, freely expressing their love for one another in privacy, and becoming one.

For those who may have grown up with experiences similar to mine, there is HOPE.  There is healing and restoration provided on the Cross of Jesus Christ and from His resurrection, but it is a process.  It is also important that your husband knows your background to avoid confusion and misunderstanding when you suddenly feel hurt, rigid or afraid upon feeling his touch on your intimate parts.  It is not an easy road, but the journey is worth it.  You must determine in your heart to remain in the process of God's healing and renewing of your mind through His Spirit and His Word.

Beloved, believe in your heart that Sex (in marriage) is God's Idea and that like all His other ideas, it is GOOD --- for you, for your husband, for your marriage.