I Do
Today, my mind is set on
blogging everything I have learned about marriage. I know there is so
much more I have yet to discover. Still, the insights I have gained so
far in my seven years of adventure with my beloved are enough for the newlywed young
wives out there.
I begin with the two words that set us off on this long lifetime journey called "Marriage" --- I do.
First off, most brides think
these words are only reserved for the day of the ceremony. When we were
yet younger, we always had that gnawing anticipation of being at that special
spot, facing your groom and finally being able to utter those two very sacred
words. Yes, we have always dreamed of saying our I do's.
When we finally have this supposedly once-in-a-lifetime chance to do so, we
walk out of the ceremony thinking the magical moment is over. And that is
where all the troubles come rolling in as terrible surprises.
I do does not end when the
ceremony ends. I do is the everyday two-word phrase we must be committed
to willingly say to our spouse. It is not only a vow promised the day we
tie our knots. It is supposed to be a confession each day, when the
battle of wills take place and preferences clash ---I
Do is what ought to echo in the four corners of our
homes.
Many times though, brides are
too overwhelmed with fairy tale excitement that colors the real meaning of I
do. We tend to think that when we say these words, everything in the days
to come from then on will be as fairy tale as our wedding day feels. This
too is where the faulty mindset begins to settle in which positions us young
wives for a shocking revelation when honeymoon is quite over.
The Bible teaches us in
Ephesians 6 and 1 Peter 3 that we wives, ought to submit to our husbands in all
things. Hmm...I wonder if every bride had that verse in mind when
she said her I do's. To be blatantly truthful about it, let me
just say that the moment you spoke your I do, you just signed off on your death
certificate. I do is a promise to die to oneself —-
to one’s own preferences in favor of your spouse's.
It is our willing signature to always prefer and put first(in case
the word ‘prefer’ did not register
immediately) our husband's decisions and preferences. This is not to say
that we place a tape on our mouths and forever be silent about things.
This is not condoning silent submission. Rather, we speak our minds and
yet remember that at the end of every argument, disagreement and clashes of
opinions, we say I do to our husbands.
I admit I did not easily
acquiesce to this principle at the start of our marriage---
which of course, inevitably brought a lot of troubles to our married
life. And yes, young wives, I am not unaware of the husband’s
responsibility to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. But then, that
lesson is to be blogged for husbands by a husband. This blog is from a wife to
younger wives. So I will leave that part to the male species to write and
learn. As for us wives, we focus on what our I do's
mean in the context of God's Word.
God knows how many young wives struggle plenty of
times in the first few years of marriage. I know because I used to be one
of them, but in the midst of all the turmoil, keep in mind you willingly and gladly said your "I do".
I do. Those two words spoken before God and men simply burned all your bridges leading back to singlehood. Only death can nullify those words.
"I DO" last chapter of ME,first chapter of US