Secret Treasures

I have no doubt that God created the woman with an extremely powerful gift of W-O-R-D-S.

We are so in touch with everything in and around us that we are oftentimes able to articulate into words what men can only fumble in their thoughts.

This gift however, functions only as far as the condition of our hearts is.  When God created Eve to be the helpmeet of Adam, I believe this was the part of the woman that He made sure to install well and good in order to accomplish her intended role.

However, given our fallen state, this gift has been distorted and perverted many times in our lives.  What was created for the intention of standing alongside the man to encourage, affirm, and strengthen him to fulfill God's mandate has been used so many times to destroy.  Sometimes we do it deliberately.  Many times we do it unconsciously.

How do we end up destroying rather than encouraging?

Grumbling, whining, complaining are irritating noises to our husband's ears.  I believe it is annoying because ears were not created to hear that. Especially the man's ears. (hahahaha)  Words that are filled with bitterness, hatred, and anger, whether directed towards your spouse or towards somebody else sound like a clanging cymbal that is playing no particular melody at all, but only making noise.

This is not to teach pretentiousness, but rather to address contentiousness.  This is not to say that we can never point out anything in our marriage or in our family that needs a lot of improvement.  This is to teach us women to understand that in everything, GOD is in control, and we are not.  The reason why we don't stop talking is because we think our words will "handle the situation", only to find out later, it only made things worse.

There is a secret that I have discovered yet still am in the process of learning well.  It is that when I see something that needs to be addressed, GOD saw it first.   We might get caught off guard when things don't go the way we assume they would, but the Lord is never surprised with anything.  The better news is that He who is not surprised with anything is the One in control.  Aren't you glad about that?  So He never reacts.  He simply ACTS.  We, on the other hand, who can't see things from afar, react so many times which always result to more chaos.

Restless waters run noisily.  Peaceful waters run still and quiet.  Both types run well, but how they run is where they differ.  This is why we ladies must allow the Lord to fill us with His peace that surpasses all understanding.  When we are filled with this kind of peace, we are able to stand still no matter how strong the storm around us rages.  And this, my dear young wives, is how we can become the helpmeet God intended us to be to our husbands.  In the midst of a storm, the last companion your husband needs is a fearful, hysterical, grumbling, and whining wife.  What he needs is a woman of peace, who is able to quietly submit to him in moments of great adversity, not because his instructions are perfect but because she understands that neither the two of them are in control in the storm --- God is.  

The words your husband needs in his low seasons are not that which compose a lecture, but that which sounds straight from a raw Hallmark card, directly from the heart of God.  If your husband did make a mistake and you see it, he does not need a sermon.  He needs a partner to admit the fault together with him.  I know it sounds crazy.  But really, it's biblical.  After all, the two shall become one.  That holds true with both success and mistakes.  It is better to say, "Our fault in this matter is..." rather than "Your fault in this mess is..."

Let your words with your husband be seasoned with grace.  Let your words be filled with truth and encouragement.  Speak more can's instead of cannot's.  Say we more often than you.  Learn to be expressive with your spouse as you count your blessings (which includes him) and to be silent in prayer when you are distraught with matters that need a lot of work.

I will conclude with this passage from the book of Proverbs.

"A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man (or woman) holds them back."
                            - Prov. 29:11 *or woman* added by me.